Bureaucratic Buffoonery

As part of their new campaign to protect America from the looming threat of disabled children, the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) forced a four-year-old boy to remove his leg braces which he needs to walk.

Young Ryan Thomas, with his father, Bob, and mother, Leona, were on their way to Walt Disney World for the boy's fourth birthday. Born 16 weeks prematurely, Ryan's ankles are malformed and his legs have low muscle tone. He had only been walking since the previous March. The custom-fitted, hardened plastic leg braces set off the security system.

The screener, clearly not the brighest of lightbulbs, ordered the parents to take the boy's leg braces off. The dumbfounded parents responded that Ryan could not walk without them on his own. Still not getting it, the screener repeated "He'll need to take them off".

Ryan’s mother offered to walk him through the detector after they removed the braces, but the TSA goon refused even this reasonable request. Fortunately the boy managed to walk through without falling demonstrating that at four years of age, he is ten times the man these TSA morons will ever be.

Meanwhile, mindless terrorist maniacs can sneak explosives onto planes in their pants.

The Fair Housing Center of West Michigan has filed a complaint against a 31-year-old woman in Grand Rapids. According to the complaint the ad "expresses an illegal preference for a Christian roommate, thus excluding people of other faiths." Says Executive Director Nancy Haynes, "It's a violation to make, print or publish a discriminatory statement. There are no exemptions to that."

You read that right! In Michigan, you are not allowed to choose what kind of roommate you'd like to have. You have to take what life gives you or the government will shove it down your throat. This law does not only apply to landlords but simply renters who would have to potentially deal with this roommate on a daily basis.

The case was turned over to the Michigan Department of Civil Rights. If the woman is found guilty of having a preference, she could face several hundreds of dollars in fines and “fair housing training so it doesn’t happen again.”

Despite growing opposition, the pig-headed organization intends to pursue this case. Says Haynes, "We want to make sure it doesn't happen again," she said. If there is a God, he's out taking a whiz right now.

Dr. Santhosh Thomas, his wife, and their daughter Alyssa were on a trip from Cleveland to Minneapolis when an unexpected and shocking development occurred: six-year-old Alyssa was on the dreaded No Fly List, a roster of slime and vermin supposedly reserved for psychopathic terrorists.

While the family was allowed to board the flight, they were admonished to contact Homeland Security to clear the matter up. This did not help. The family received a letter written to young Alyssa from the government notifying her that nothing will be changed and they will not confirm or deny any information they have about her or someone else with the same name.

D.A.G. says: The family is Indian with a western last name. This should be all the proof necessary that you do not need to be Muslim or have an Arabic name to find yourself on the No Fly List.

The Washington State Liquor Control Board, i.e. the state monopoly, has some unusual new rules for bars in Washington. Due largely to the shrill whining of hysterical idiots, the Liquor Board has decided that a bar can only display 1600 square inches of brand-based alcohol advertising, about four average sized neon signs' worth. Anything more would encourage children to drink, apparently.

The restrictions do not limit non-brand advertising such as "Cinco de Mayo Drink Specials". More interestingly, they do not affect the massive outdoor beer advertising found at Safeco Field where thousands of children are encouraged on a regular basis to enjoy an ice cold brewski. Of course, those ads are highly lucrative and the stadiums are huge business. Sounds fishy, right? Right.

March 4, Hennepin County, MN - A witness in a murder case was beaten up after Hennepin County jailers mistakenly placed him in the same holding cell as the man he'd implicated.

Murder suspect Jonathan Nicholas "Thirsty" Turner beat up the unfortunate cellmate because prosecutors failed to notify the jail about the prisoners' situation. Turner was charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the August 2003 killing of 19 year-old Javon Spencer.

A Daytona Beach cop, Lt. Major Garvin (yes his first name is Major), terrorized a Starbucks for two years demanding free coffee, cutting in front of paying customers, and threatening a slow police response time if he was not given what he wanted.

The officer's tantrum allegedly was worded "If something happens, either we can respond really fast or we could respond really slow. I've been coming here for years and I've been getting whatever I want. I'm the difference between you getting a two-minute response time, if you needed a little help, or a 15 minutes response time."

Starbucks reported Garvin's corrupt conduct to the police department who administered a polygraph test which Garvin failed. He was fired, rightly, but the story did not end there. Remember, this is a man given to petulant temper tantrums. Garvin demanded his job back and the idiotic arbiter George Mayer gave the baby his lollipop.

Not only does Major Garvin get his undeserved job back but he gets $87,000 in back pay. Money stolen from your paycheck is given to his. Isn't that nice?

In Gilbert, AZ, the town code bars religious assemblies in private homes. The Oasis of Truth church began meeting at Paster Joe Sutherland's house in November of 2009 and rotated homes several times per week for Bible study and socializing. The church received a violation notice when a code compliance officer saw a sign advertising Sunday services.

A zoning administrator told the church that Bible studies, church leadership meetings and fellowship activities are not permitted in private homes. This law is barred by the First Amendment of the Constitution.

A California car wash owner received a strange surprise when two IRS agents showed up at his business to collect a debt of four cents. According to the owner, Aaron Zeff, the only notice he had received previously was one saying that he had filed his returns and he didn't owe any more money. So not only did the IRS screw up in not notifying a taxpayer of their actual debt, but they wasted taxpayer money by sending their agents to collect less than a nickel's worth.

Tulare, CA. August 6, 2009 - Daniela Earnest was doing what good, enterprising 7-year-olds do: running a lemonade stand to save up money for a trip to Disneyland. Unfortunately, while in better times this would have been perfectly un-newsworthy, the "progressive" and "modern" government of Tulare sent its Blue Goons to shut her operation down. The reason? She didn't have a permit or the proper "improved location".

D.A.G. Says: Government buffoonery and hyperregulation like this are why children sit at home playing video games all day. What child in their right mind would bother venturing out into the dreary surveillance state that is modern America when there is a world of adventure and fun on their TV set?

Newark Airport. August 14, 2009 - Famous Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan was detained at immigration and customs and questioned for hours for having a Muslim-sounding name.

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