Original Story

Twelve-year-old Alexa Gonzalez scribbled “Lex was here 2/1/10″ on her desk at an NYC middle school. She also wrote “I love my friends Abby and Faith.” They were done in marker and could have easily been erased. When her “vandalism” was discovered, a goon in uniform handcuffed her and hauled her to a police station where she was detained for several hours. Gonzalez has been assigned eight hours of community service, a book report and an essay on what she’s learned from the experience.

From J: It’s a good thing I didn’t go to school around there. I remember boring holes in my desk with scissors. Why? Because school is unstimulating and meant to stifle the mind. Change that and kids won’t be defacing their desks. But that would require someone in the government to have a brain.

Original Story

Jan 28th, 2010 – A police officer accidentally used pepper spray instead of a fire extinguisher on a man who set himself on fire in downtown Portland. The man on fire was, of course, insane but this is not the point of this story. The reason the cop sprayed the man with pepper spray was not police megalomania as you’ve come to expect on this site. No, in the officer’s patrol car, the fire extinguisher and the pepper spray canister looked nearly identical. Think about that next time you run out of a burning building with your clothes on fire.

Original Story

The Supreme Court of Minnesota on January 1, 2010 upheld the drunk driving conviction of a man caught asleep behind the wheel of a vehicle that would not start. On June 11, 2007, police found Daryl Fleck sleeping in his own legally parked car in his apartment complex parking lot. The vehicle’s engine was cold to the touch, indicating it had not been driven recently and the keys were in the center console, not the ignition. The police arrested him, and his blood alcohol level was found to be .18. A few weeks after Fleck’s vehicle was impounded, a police officer tested the vehicle using the keys found in the car’s center console. It was determined the vehicle could not even start.

Thus, Daryl Fleck was convicted by the highest court in Minnesota of a crime he had not committed – drunk driving – and in fact, a crime he could not commit! Now that’s some dumb ass government.

Jordan Miles. He was afraid he was being illegally abducted. He was right.

Original Story

In Pittsburgh, three plainclothes officers savagely assaulted an 18-year-old honors student. His crime? Being black and carrying an object of any kind. The three buffoons saw Jordan Miles walking down the street in a manner they found unacceptable. The threesome started lumbering towards Miles without identifying themselves as police. Miles, who understandably believed he was about to be abducted, started to run toward home. The cops then tackled Miles who resisted, still believing he was being criminally abducted (and in fact he was). They beat the boy severely, pulling out his dreadlocks and flaying him with a tree branch.

The mysterious object they thought they saw young Jordan carrying? It was a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Are these three monsters rotting in jail right now? No. They have been transferred to uniformed duty. They’re still drawing a paycheck from our tax dollars! Of course these are the same idiots that brutalized innocent bystanders during the G20 so we shouldn’t be shocked.

Thanks Genevieve and Mary Lou!

Original Story

James Suckling of Cigar Afficionado in early January, 2010, went through a hellish experience simply trying to get back into his own country. On a trip to Mexico he received as a gift three bottles of wine which he intended to bring into the United States. The customs officer, ignorant of the fact that alcohol importation restrictions are a matter of state and irked by the fact that a citizen knew more about the law than he and even had a document from California Department of Alcohol Beverage Control proving so, proceeded to search Mr. Suckling’s car and found two Cuban cigars that he had forgotten to declare.

The lugubrious officer detained Suckling for four hours, threatening him with all sorts of charges, ordering him to destroy the wine that he lawfully had brought into the country, which incidentally splashed all over him causing the “officers” to laugh gleefully. To add insult to injury, he was “fined” (aka extorted) $60 for not declaring the terror devices known as cigars.

Meanwhile, these incompetent buffoons let illegal immigrants through daily. Clearly they are aware of their own impotence and take it out on good, law-abiding citizens who have too much to lose to truly stand up for themselves.

Original Story

Don’t carry more than two condoms in Washington D.C. You might be charged with attempted prostitution. Police are using possession of three or more condoms as evidence of sex trafficking. In addition to the obvious infringement upon law-abiding citizens basic rights, this type of buffoonery will discourage whores from using condoms. This will then affect the johns, and while nobody cares about them, inevitably the johns are the vectors of disease to respectable society.

If biological warfare is defined by purposeful actions which spread disease amongst a target population, D.C. police are engaging in biological warfare against Americans.

Thanks Mitchell and Mary Lou!

Original Story

• Greg Schubert, a lawyer and licensed firearm owner, was walking in a high crime area of had a pistol concealed under his suit coat, and Mr. Schubert was walking in what the court described as a “high crime area” of Atlanta.
• At some point police officer, J.B. Stern caught a glimpse of the attorney’s pistol, and he leapt out of his patrol car “in a dynamic and explosive manner” with his gun drawn, pointing it at the attorney’s face.
• Officer Stern “executed a pat-frisk,” and Mr. Schubert produced his license to carry a concealed weapon.
• Schubert was disarmed and ordered to stand in front of the patrol car in the hot sun. Eventually, the officer locked him in the back seat of the police car and started to lecture the man, telling him some of his Miranda rights, brought up the possibility of criminal charges and in a blatant display of hubris, lied to Schubert saying that he was “the only person allowed to carry a weapon on his beat.”
• Stern finally stole Schubert’s firearm permit and drove off.
• The attorney sued in federal court, but the District Court threw out his suit. Then he appealed, and the First Circuit upheld the District Court’s ruling.  The court held that the stop was lawful and that Officer Stern “was permitted to take actions to ensure his own safety.”

D.A.G. Says: They forget who their real boss is.

Thanks Joseph!

A "ghost car". Booooooo!

Original Story

• Westchester County, NY police have introduced a new “ghost car” that is designed to sneak up on motorists, spying on them to determine if they are talking on cell phones, texting, or driving without seat belts.

D.A.G. Says: Yes! Let’s hunt down those evil non-criminals.

Thanks Mary Lou!

Jeffione Thomas after being beaten by "truancy officers"

Original Story

• Jeffione Thomas, an 18-year-old junior at Frankford High School in Philadelphia, had overslept and was running late for class. He had just stepped off a bus when he was accosted by “truancy officers”.
• As he casually walked toward the school, the officers approached him and order him to get into a “truancy van”. Thomas declined stating that he was on his way to class and was already late. This answer displeased the officers who followed him into the school, charged at him at full speed, and tackled him violently.
• As a result of the savage beating the thugs administered, Thomas ended up in the hospital with a black eye, broken blood vessels in his left eye, cuts to his lips and several loosened teeth.
• If this violent buffoonery were not enough, somehow Thomas, the victim, has been charged with assault.

D.A.G. Says: With any luck, the thugs who did this will be thrown in prison with the others they have persecuted. They’ll learn what justice is quickly.

Thanks Mary Lou!

Detective Michael Baylor going postal on an innocent civilian.

Original Story

• On a snowy day in Washington D.C., a snowball fight was taking place on a street. It was by no means an anarchic event and clearly all in good fun.
• A maroon Hummer got stuck on the street in the middle of the “fight”. The crowd immediately stopped and went to help push it out. Once the Hummer started moving, the crowd cheered. A snowball or two hit the Hummer, and at that point, the driver stepped out and started angrily waving a police walkie-talkie. Moments later, to the crowd’s horror he was brandishing a gun.
• The hysterical man was Detective Michael Baylor. He stormed into the crowd and grabbed one man that he believed to have thrown a snowball at him, and threw him up against his SUV. He only calmed down from his tantrum when more police arrived.
• Following the incident D.C. Police Chief Cathy Lanier called the officer’s actions “totally inappropriate” and rightfully so.
• Unfortunately the Washington D.C. Police Union is throwing a tantrum of their own. Union chief Kristopher Baumann is whining about Chief Lanier’s criticism of the hysterical officer saying that Lanier “should wait for the investigation to close before passing judgment.”

D.A.G. Says: You mean the way Michael Baylor waited to figure out what was going on before swinging a gun around and grabbing innocent civilians? Fire his stupid ass.

Thanks Mary Lou!