Hysterical conspiracy theorist Alan Lowenthal

Full Text of Bill

The California state senate has passed a bill authored by the hysterical conspiracy theorist, Alan Lowenthal which will ban free parking at all city, county, and state properties. Under this bill, every government property in California will be required to raise their parking rates to the maximum rate possible.

Text from the bill declares:

“Install parking meters in areas with parking occupancy rates of greater than 85% and establish meter rates such that parking availability improves to 85% or better.”

To translate their euphemistic stupidity, if the parking lot is too full, the government must jack the price up until fewer people can afford to park there.

Even worse, the bill sets maximum numbers of parking spaces that be included in new privately owned parking lots. In other words, newly constructed businesses will be limited to the number of parking spaces they can have! It also increases business owner’s property tax based on how many parking spaces they have.

Original Story

California has banned electronic bingo machines, effective Feb 1, 2009, because they are “too close to slot machines”. And why is that a problem? Because it competes with Indian casinos. The casinos have lobbied heavily to the state legislature to attack freedom and the state legislature obeyed.

“It’s going to be a very immediate and devastating thing that takes place tonight, when we’re not allowed to raise funds using electronic bingo machines,” said Topo Padilla, President of the El Camino High School Booster Club, who says the machines helped raise tens of thousands of dollars for the school’s football team and other programs.

Corporate communists have won another victory against freedom.

Original Story

Portland, OR – Officer Thomas Brennan was worried that his sergeant was under too much stress while working the streets after his involvement in the police custody death of James P. Chasse Jr. The mentally ill man died in 2006 after his ribs were broken during an arrest. A federal lawsuit is still pending. Brennan met with his precinct commander last fall, provided details of a call in which he thought the sergeant “grossly overreacted” and recommended the sergeant be moved to a lower-profile assignment. Five days later, Brennan, 41, became the first rank-and-file officer who has been assigned to work at the property evidence warehouse. He also is facing a police internal investigation.

Brennan says his latest transfer is part of a pattern of retaliation and harassment since he informally told a city staffer in June 2006, and filed a formal complaint in December 2006, accusing his traffic sergeant of groping Brennan’s wife at a co-worker’s birthday party while off-duty.

Mia Landingham. Hopefully this ham doesn't land on you.

Original Story

Cleveland, OH – A drunken 300+ pound Mia Landingham sat on her 120 pound boyfriend Mikal Middleton-Bey, crushing him to death. Was this a sick sex fetish gone wrong? Not at all. The gargantuan Landingham was angry with Middleton and punched him to the ground, placing her monstrous weight upon his chest. Landingham’s punishment? Three years probation and 100 hours of community service as sentenced by Judge Carolyn Friedland.

Original Story

Officials at the New York Fed did not want AIG to submit a critical bailout-related document to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission without getting assurances from the regulatory agency that “special security procedures” would be used to handle the document. How special? The AIG’s bailout filing would be kept “in a special area where national security related files are kept.” The New York Fed has gone to great lengths to keep the terms of the bailout secret from the American tax payers whose hard-earned money is being funneled into this boondoggle.

Original Story

Jan 28th, 2010 – A police officer accidentally used pepper spray instead of a fire extinguisher on a man who set himself on fire in downtown Portland. The man on fire was, of course, insane but this is not the point of this story. The reason the cop sprayed the man with pepper spray was not police megalomania as you’ve come to expect on this site. No, in the officer’s patrol car, the fire extinguisher and the pepper spray canister looked nearly identical. Think about that next time you run out of a burning building with your clothes on fire.

Original Story

The Supreme Court of Minnesota on January 1, 2010 upheld the drunk driving conviction of a man caught asleep behind the wheel of a vehicle that would not start. On June 11, 2007, police found Daryl Fleck sleeping in his own legally parked car in his apartment complex parking lot. The vehicle’s engine was cold to the touch, indicating it had not been driven recently and the keys were in the center console, not the ignition. The police arrested him, and his blood alcohol level was found to be .18. A few weeks after Fleck’s vehicle was impounded, a police officer tested the vehicle using the keys found in the car’s center console. It was determined the vehicle could not even start.

Thus, Daryl Fleck was convicted by the highest court in Minnesota of a crime he had not committed – drunk driving – and in fact, a crime he could not commit! Now that’s some dumb ass government.

Jordan Miles. He was afraid he was being illegally abducted. He was right.

Original Story

In Pittsburgh, three plainclothes officers savagely assaulted an 18-year-old honors student. His crime? Being black and carrying an object of any kind. The three buffoons saw Jordan Miles walking down the street in a manner they found unacceptable. The threesome started lumbering towards Miles without identifying themselves as police. Miles, who understandably believed he was about to be abducted, started to run toward home. The cops then tackled Miles who resisted, still believing he was being criminally abducted (and in fact he was). They beat the boy severely, pulling out his dreadlocks and flaying him with a tree branch.

The mysterious object they thought they saw young Jordan carrying? It was a bottle of Mountain Dew.

Are these three monsters rotting in jail right now? No. They have been transferred to uniformed duty. They’re still drawing a paycheck from our tax dollars! Of course these are the same idiots that brutalized innocent bystanders during the G20 so we shouldn’t be shocked.

Thanks Genevieve and Mary Lou!

Original Story

When a TSA screener called Rebecca Solomon over to him, he held up a plastic bag full of white powder. She was justifiably terrified for she believed she was being framed. Of course the powder was harmless and the whole thing was a prank. The identity of this idiot should be made known as all government employees ought to be publically accountable. No such luck. TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis declined to identify the worker and his job title, citing privacy laws. She also wouldn’t say whether he was fired or quit.

Judge Tommy Munoz

Original Story

In Bryan, TX, Justice of the Peace Tommy Munoz is implementing a new strategy for punishing “truants” (aka people who don’t do what the government orders them to do) – forcing them to carry GPS devices at all times.

Says Munoz, “If your son or daughter does not want to get up and go to school, you call my office and I will send the constable to go get them out of bed and bring them to school. Is this intended to embarrass you? Yes it is, because the law says they need to be in school and if they don’t want to get up, well we’re going to get them there.”

To add insult to injury, the parents of the kid who did not go to school are forced to pay court costs. Maybe they should focus more on making school actually stimulating for youths rather than punishing them when they react to the general lousiness of public schools. Nah… that would entail creativity and excellence.

Thanks Genevieve!