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One of the biggest Achilles heels in America's legal system is the astonishing possibility that a jury will be staffed by slobbering morons, so incredibly stupid that it's a wonder they can even wipe themselves (if they do at all). Nowhere is this more apparent in the case of 70-year-old sociopath Ronald W. Ellis, who viciously attacked neighbor Cheri Monson by luring her out of her apartment then dousing her with a bucket of urine, feces, and vomit so vile the police were made ill when interviewing her. This was certainly not the first incident. Ellis had a history of harrassing Monson and even an assault conviction in 1998

If we had a competent government, Ellis would have been sent to the gallows already. Instead, however, the aforementioned jury of imbeciles acquitted this excuse for a human being.

Additionally there are unconfirmed reports that this may be a racial issue - this is to say, the perpetrator was black and so too was the jury and thus racial "solidarity" may have played a part in sabotaging a slam-dunk case. We re-iterate we do not have confirmation of this.

Thanks to the Massachusetts Alcohol Beverage Control Board, Groupon is not allowed to give discounts on alcohol. This means if you get a $50 groupon to a restaurant, you cannot use it for beer and wine. The state also demands details on all the Groupons that involve establishments serving alcohol.

The MABCB's legal counsel wrote to Groupon saying:

"I am hopeful that the long-established, clear, bright lines of the boundaries of legality have not vanished in the rear-view mirror of entrepreneurism driven by unbridled and imprudent, if not reckless, enthusiasm,” William A. Kelley Jr., the commission’s legal counsel, wrote to Groupon in the February letter."

The pejorative spin that the bureaucrat puts on "entrepreneurism" is particularly disturbing.

Activist Abdelaziz Dahhassi established a think tank to find new ways of "fighting ethnic and religious discrimination" in France. Where did backing for the venture come from? The U.S. State Department.

A series of Wikileaked cables reveals U.S. Ambassador Charles Rivkin has an “ambitious agenda meant to ‘amplify France’s efforts to realize its own egalitarian ideals, thereby advancing U.S. national interests.’” Orwellian much?

So in short, the United States is surreptitiously using your tax dollars to fund politically correct social engineering programs in other countries. Wonderful. Oh, and we should point out that Rivkin was one of the many Obama donors who got plum ambassadorships in exchange for their brib... er... contributions. We called that one back in 2009.

Proving that bureaucratic twerps can find racism in the vacuum of space if they so tried, the Delaware Human Relations Commission (they have agencies for the darnedest things) imposed an $80,000 fine on Carmike Cinemas for the "racist actions" of one of its theatre managers. The theatre was not barring any race from entry, or charging discriminatory prices. No, the "racist action" of the manager was to announce to the sold-out audience to silence their cell phones so everyone could enjoy the movie.

One of the audience members was Juana Fuentes-Bowles, director of said Human Relations Commission. As if using cellphones was not disruptive enough, the insufferable crone stood up and yelled at the manager for being "racist" and solicited audience members to file complaints, 33 of whom complied. 

Fortunately the Delaware Supreme Court threw the case out. If only they had thrown the DHRC and its chronic-PMSing director out.

Obama donor Cynthia Stroum got the plum posting of ambassador to Luxembourg and ended up being an unholy terror. We called it back in 2009, folks.

A 7-year-old child allegedly shot a $5 Nerf-style toy gun in his Hammonton, N.J., school Jan. 18. No one was hurt, but the kid now faces misdemeanor criminal charges. Hammonton Police began an investigation into the “suspicious activity” at the Hammonton Early Childhood Education Center Jan. 18 after school officials alerted them to the incident.

Officials also say that there was no evidence of anyone being threatened. The child's mother told school officials that she didn't know her son brought the toy to school.

WA state Senator Mike Carrell of Lakewood is sponsoring a bill to prevent the use of Washington's welfare cash cards from being used

Carrell says an investigation by Seattle TV station KING found that Washington's welfare cash cards are being used at strip clubs, sex shops, tattoo parlors, gun shops and taverns.

The station earlier found that about $2 million in welfare cash was withdrawn in one year at casinos. The Department of Social and Health Services asked casinos to block the use of the cards at their ATMs. Gambling with welfare cash is illegal.

D.A.G. Says: Why the hell didn't they simply design the cards to not work but for food and other necessities? Why rely on retailers.

18-year-old Stefanie Woods became famous in 2008 when she helped a friend steal $168 from an adorable 9-year-old Girl Scout selling cookies outside a grocery store. This in and of itself is a despicable act however Woods compounded it soon after when she was interviewed by a local news crew and bragged about her crime justifying it by saying "Who doesn't like money?".

Later that year, she made the news again when she and her same friend (probably her only one) got busted for skipping out on a tab at Denny's. Clearly she was proving herself to be an asset to society.

Not satisfied with being a mere miscreant, she teamed up in 2009 with two men to kidnap and rob a man at gunpoint of his prescription drugs. A creature like this should be locked up for life, of course, but was she? Of course not!

Politically correct Circuit Judge Amy Smith sentenced the 20-year-old to a year in jail - which she has already served - and ordered her into a Department of Corrections drug treatment bed. This despite the fact that her crimes legally merit a life sentence! No prison time will be served.

DAG says: The autocratic idiot judge had this to say: "A lot of people won't be happy about this," Smith said. "But I think it's the right thing to do, and it's my decision."

So much for democracy.

Two Long Beach police officers responded to a 911 call from a neighbor reporting an intoxicated man holding a "six shooter" that looked like an antique gun in the 5300 block of East Ocean Avenue. The 35-year-old man was holding a water spigot, not a gun, it turns out.

As part of their new campaign to protect America from the looming threat of disabled children, the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) forced a four-year-old boy to remove his leg braces which he needs to walk.

Young Ryan Thomas, with his father, Bob, and mother, Leona, were on their way to Walt Disney World for the boy's fourth birthday. Born 16 weeks prematurely, Ryan's ankles are malformed and his legs have low muscle tone. He had only been walking since the previous March. The custom-fitted, hardened plastic leg braces set off the security system.

The screener, clearly not the brighest of lightbulbs, ordered the parents to take the boy's leg braces off. The dumbfounded parents responded that Ryan could not walk without them on his own. Still not getting it, the screener repeated "He'll need to take them off".

Ryan’s mother offered to walk him through the detector after they removed the braces, but the TSA goon refused even this reasonable request. Fortunately the boy managed to walk through without falling demonstrating that at four years of age, he is ten times the man these TSA morons will ever be.

Meanwhile, mindless terrorist maniacs can sneak explosives onto planes in their pants.